The Final Blow

After long, tormenting, and arduous hours of thinking, I’ve finally made up my mind. I’m quitting my job tomorrow.

It’s been a good experience for me. I wish I had better training. I wish I learned more things. But then again, we don’t get everything we want. I’m exhausted and drained out of my wits. I’m stressed and pressured and restless. I honestly don’t think keeping this job is still worth it. Quitting my job doesn’t mean I’d stop selling. I could still sell and just pass it on to them. That way, I could still earn big money and not put all I’ve learned into waste.

Despite that though, I’m happy with my 11-month stay with ALSI. I got to have a background in real estate. I’ve made some sales. I’ve earned some money. And most importantly, I’ve met some great people.

My parents disapprove of my sudden decision. No, I wasn’t surprised at all. What’s there to be surprised about? They always push me to do what I don’t want. It’s kinda weird actually. Especially when just last month, they’ve been forcing me to resign! And now that I’ve finally got the courage to, they urge me to stay longer. Ugh! Should I even try to understand them at all???

I know that I’ll be taking a big risk with this decision. By resigning, I would be bumming around for half a year. And unless my plan to go to China to study on February pursues, I’m dead meat!

Still, I’m willing to take that chance. I’ve wandered around for so long already. I’ve let the wind take me just wherever. I’ve let my parents control me all my life. I did all that I could to please them. I guess it’s time I do what I believe I have to do. Even if it means there will be no turning back. Even if it means I could be wrong. Even if it means I could destroy my entire future.

No, I don’t think that last statement is possible to happen. True, I still don’t have a clue on what I want. I still have no idea what’s on the other side of the fence. But how will I know if I don’t give up everything I have right now to go over that fence and see the opportunities for myself?

I’m tired of being scared. I’ve been too scared to do what I really wanted. In effect, I forgot what it was that I wanted! I’m tired of pleasing people around me. Of fulfilling each and every expectation they have from me. Their list of expectations just never ends. I don’t think it ever will. So I guess I just have to stress it out to them that this is my life. They have theirs to live, so don’t they bother mine!

I know there will be a lot of sermons, disappointed looks, and unsolicited advices after tomorrow. But what the hell? I’m still gonna go on with it anyway!

I’ll take my time to figure things out. To find myself. To rediscover my dreams. And even if the road ahead gets tough, I’m gonna live my dreams. I know I will.

For now, good luck to me… ;)